After rereading my last post, I realized it was a little misleading with when my journey with depression started. When I stated that it began 3 years ago, it was the darkest of dark point of my depression that began. Rock bottom.
Depression has been apart of my life for as long as I can remember. I lost a relative to suicide at a very young age. I saw struggles with mental health issues in my family growing up. I had my own struggles in my teen years with a couple suicide attempts of my own.
The funny thing is, or maybe it isn't funny, but not once did I ever hear the word "depression" until 3 years ago, when I was diagnosed "officially". It was only when I was diagnosed that I realized I had been suffering from depression for a very, very long time. All the years that had gone by with unresolved issues within me.
When I started to deal with these issues from over 2 decades it became too much for me. It was unbearable, I couldn't breath, I couldn't move and it just kept getting deeper and deeper and darker and darker. It was the worst feeling I had ever felt in my life. Unstable. Out of control. Hopeless.
I sit here today and marvel at how strong I really am to have been able to come out of that dark place on the other side a much better, happy, positive & grateful person. Yes, Im struggling with the darkness right now, but I have every bit of confidence that...THIS TOO WILL PASS.